Went back home after sitting at the burger stall looking at people go by. It was few hours passed Merdeka count-down. The bojans were not there today. Somehow sitting by myself at the stall, must have felt like victory. No arguements, no chattering sound, no nothing. Just me and my pack of smokes.
Anyway went back home and had my burger in front of the TV. My bro was still awake. "No plans, no parties?", I asked. He was actually getting ready to go out. Oh that sounded cool, 3.30am and the party has just started. There was a party going down at Holiday Villa, frens just booked a room for the night of drinks and getting high session. (Dont get any dumb and dirty ideas). BTW, my bro is just 19+ and they really knew how to have fun. Alright fine, upon sending my Bro to the hotel. Suddenly I felt like wanna join these fellas and see how it goes as I already know some of his friends. Damn needed to have some alcohol to drink as well. (Note: I'm not alcoholic and I rarely booze).
Just when reaching the room, I notice that some were already like wasted. Booze cans, Liqiour Bottles, soft-drinks, ciggratte buds, ashes, packs....everywhere. It was like a Junkie's paradise. Already felt like getting stoned. Some my bro's frens were like surprised and welcomed my presense, they we a cool bunch of teenagers. hmmm...I thought to myself, my bunch of people - English speaking, crazy in a way, but minus the drinking and the happy behaviours.
Anyway, lit up my smoke, and poured some a quarter full of Gin and 3/4 coke. (no idea what gin was it dont ask, and dont ask what combination I just did, cause I dont know how was it supposed to be dranked). Sat down, and just enjoy the company as a stranger. As time passed, I realised that I never had this sort of thing before. There were like two chicks, speaks fluent English, and they were like close to everybody and they were really a great bunch. Some were wasted on the bed, some sitting on the sofa, on the floor and they were like comfortable with each other. I just had to drink more.
Im probably more comfortable being that stranger in other people's life. Shiet, if I had not joined these people, I was just that loner in that burger stall. Farking hell, I cant relate to people at all.
I can easily say that all of my bro's friends had a relationship or is in a relationship, that includes my bro. Me, on the other hand, no relationships, no boozing, no girls, no hobbies, no nothing. I cant even finish my glass of Gin that night. I even work in the same place as my first-job for 2 years plus. Fark, Im screwed. Now people my age are like planning all kinds of future, and here I am dont even have a plan or scheme. I'm Farked.
I wish an alien would just come and take me away. Advise: Dont be the stoner that I already am.
Final Note: People always ask me why do I wear that dumb fisherman hat. Dont ask me, I dont have the answer, because im a farking weirdo.
7 comments:
dude.. ur loosing urself. we shall go bat for balls k?!?!
young kids these days...
you should hang out with pple you age.... like me. lets go get wasted with my friends.
Hahaha, trying to chill lah dudes.
BTW.... please work on your "list of thing to do before you die".
You can have my list as a reference if u cant figure out anything yet. hehehe
I don't know man, sometimes I think to be a loner is the best thing.. but Sometimes you can't make it on your own - U2
*sigh* Choon, on what you typed, buddy, you are aware of your situation. Some people I know don't even know what the heck is going on around them. You on the other hand know what is going on, and you have the ability to change all that BUT you choose not to. All this time, if you had ever wanted so hang out, talk to your friends, we are here man. Why do you choose to do what you do? If you are not willing to make a change, the best advice in the world can't even help you man. Lol, you even said it yourself "Shiet, if I had not joined these people, I was just that loner in that burger stall." which just proves you know what you did was kinda weird. Yes, people do need time on their own sometimes, but you my friend, have more like overdone it man, everything done to the extreme is ultimately going to be overkill.
However, this statement of yours "Its a fact: I have done nothing in my life" I do not agree. You have been a wonderful friend,always there to lend a helping hand whenever needed. Now let us help you in return man. Stop pondering, start living. We can't tell you how to live your life, we can only give you some sorta guidance,up to you on how you want to change.
Request to dish the fisherman hat, we are way off the coast, beanie's are in now :)
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